9 awful tips to motivate developers

Developers are very smart with computers, but they don’t know how the world works or how a project is done.

To help your team be more productive, here are 9 helpful tips to make sure your developers are used to their full potential.

  1. Overdress to work, this shows the developers that you’re superior to them. They will feel a subconscious need to work harder to satisfy your cashmere blazer.
  2. Say that all tasks are easy to help with complexity estimations during the sprint planning. You once used HTML on a blog, so you can extrapolate how webpack and javascript modules work.
  3. Allow stakeholders to change requirements on a whim. When a developer spends 40 hours on a feature, all he really wishes for is a requirement change that invalidates all his previous work.
  4. Give random shoulder rubs when they’re trying to concentrate. This will help them focus harder and work faster.
  5. Say “get shit done” a lot. If you don’t, they will think that there are no tasks to be done.
  6. Ignore their concerns about a particular decision. All they know about is technical details, but you know that the devil is in the big-picture.
  7. Organize a team building event around something only you like doing. This way you can beat them and strengthen your alpha position.
  8. Interrupt them when they’re working to ask about their weekend. To show that you’re friendly and approachable, pretend to care about their private life. Proceed to tell them they should go out more.
  9. Look over their shoulder when they’re working on a particularly tough task. If you do this, they will make less mistakes and the code quality generally improves.

These were the 9 tips on how to make your developers more productive, go try them out! :)

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